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What shall we do with a drunken student?

Send him to Afghanistan, to Headley Court, or just to jail?

Legion magazine editorial

Published: 12 November 2009

The song, What shall we do with a drunken sailor? was re-written recently to become What shall we do with a grumpy pirate? It was thought to be a bit more politically correct and more appropriate on the occasions you’re singing to small children.

But it seems it might have to be rewritten again, this time to: What shall we do with a (really stupid) drunken student?

Sheffield student Philip Laing appalled the nation in October by urinating on a war memorial and subsequently pleaded guilty to a charge of outraging public decency.

At worst, Laing, 19, a sports technology student at Sheffield Hallam University, now faces a jail sentence. But what should his punishment be – is jail too severe, or even too soft?

Clearly he’s not the brightest student in the world, and few of us have lead entirely blameless lives, especially after a drink or two. Just to set his drinking in context, Mr Laing was one of 2,000 students who took part in an event called ‘Carnage UK’, and he personally downed a bottle of whisky, followed by several pints of beer.

The remorseful student later told police he could not believe what he had done, that he believed his actions were disrespectful and he was ashamed and sorry. Ironically, both his grandfathers served in WWII and he had done work experience in the Army.

Clearly, his actions cannot go unpunished, but how to ensure it is appropriate and that he learns from this mistake? Perhaps the intense embarrassment he has suffered has been enough? Or maybe not. We put the question what to do with him to readers on our Facebook site. Here is a selection of their views.

Bob Thomas: Bring back the birch.

David Fraser: Clean and polish the memorial, write a grovelling public apology and buy a poppy with a big donation.

Erna Easterbrook: Let him clean it up with his toothbrush.

Dave Bagley: Make him stand at the ceremony of remembrance at the war memorial and apologise to all those gathered to remember the fallen.

Bre Nda: Send him to Afghanistan, where he'll have to duck some bullets.

Ray Crawley: Take him to Aldershot and leave him to the squaddies!

Marcus Townley: I say make him work in Selly Oak or Hedley Court unpaid.

That’s what they think. But what are your views?


1. At 15.43 on 13 November 2009, shallotman wrote:

Having never missed voting for some 56 yrs. I feel that ALL politicians promise the earth in opposition, the problems start when they get into power. I am tempted not to go out and vote again.

2. At 21.20 on 13 November 2009, Old soldier wrote:

I think all the likes of the abuser and thugs etc should serve some community service in Afghanistan, helping the troops and hospital staff, maybe if they saw what real fighting is all about they would not be prepared to use knives, guns, fist and boots to get what they want.

3. At 08.36 on 14 November 2009, Mike Moran wrote:

He needs to suffer physical pain as others did when their relatives fell in combat. Six strokes of a cane on his rump will also serve as a deterent to others that the Courts and Law mean what they preach. A fine would be an insult to 'our heroes' who gave their lives for our country.

4. At 11.01 on 14 November 2009, Louise wrote:

I would make him clean the memorial with a toothbrush, under the watchful eye of an RSM, and he should apologise in front of the veterans & public on Remembrance Sunday.

I would also send him for a month in prison, not the cushy Ivvy prisons, but I know there's an army prison at Colchester. I think the squaddies would give him a good kick in.  He should be forced to work unpaid at Headly Court or Selly Oak. 

5. At 12.13 on 16 November 2009, Rob wrote:

I think that if he was to be made to listen to some of the stories of people who had fought in wars and the sacrifices they made, and then to the family of soliders who died recently that would be enough to shame him and realise what he had done was wrong. His conscience would do the rest. It might also educate him in a positive way.

6. At 11.04 on 26 November 2009, TNT wrote:

I would suggest that you go find Sgt. Jimmy Moran ex Middlesex provost Sgt. and let Jim or any othe of the provo Sgts from the 1950s deal with him. I can well imagine that they could find enough tooth brushes and 'land of hope' that they could and would of had him clean every memorial for the next five years.

Yes I suppose that it could be said that in my younger years I could have been a bit of a rebel as were a good number of us n.s. men but we knew right from wrong, we also learned very quickly that it wasn't any good disrespecting the RSM or the provo Sgt. So give the poor misguided yob the chance to learn even a fraction of the respect that we learnt.

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